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Scattered thoughts…..
Mistakes I’ve made along the way have created a life of regret
The toll it has taken on my self- worth it seems my soul will never forget
How can I move forward with hope and pride when I feel so empty and low inside
I believe I’ve learned to be a procrastinator and a heavy task evader
I am perpetually late even though it is tardiness I hate
Although I’ve tried to make friends with my money, I can’t seem to manage my finances and so I don’t take any financial chances
Although I want to run my own business someday, I believe I don’t know enough so why try my hand that way
I seem to have proven these thoughts true for so long that my lack of faith in me is too strong
I wish there was a way to wholeheartedly undo these thoughts that have plagued me and feel so true
It’s not like you think in rhymes and poetry but have you ever had scattered thoughts like these? Thoughts that just lay you out and leave you feeling sunk? Have you ever repeatedly thought so negatively about yourself in any specific area of your life that the actions you take seem to support your negative beliefs?
What if you could turn your negative thoughts around? What if there were a way to start to tell and live a better story about yourself and your actions? Would you try it?
Whether we call it our inner critic, our gremlin, or our dragon, it is designed to disguise itself as our friend when in fact it is our enemy. In his book, A Master Class in Gremlin Taming, author Rick Carson calls these negative thoughts and beliefs your psychic tattoos. You can find his book here.
Rick says, “The mind is not interested in knowing, just in knowing about. Our minds are like giant warehouses filled with remnants and representations of direct experience, like snapshots, assumptions, concepts and memories. In the warehouse lives a monster of the mind. Sometimes the monster will convince you to visit and other times you will stop by of your own accord. When you and the monster encounter each other, he will use what is stored in the mind to divert you from the direct experience of your very own life as it is unfolding. The monster will create painful regrets, horrifying fears, unrealistic hopes, self-doubt and humiliation.”
Each experience imprints itself on our psyche and inside of our mind just like printing a tattoo on our skin.
“Your gremlin is the master of misery, Rick writes, he is the one that uses your fears, regrets, or self-limiting concepts to your unique vulnerabilities.” My take away from this statement is that your gremlin is the one that shows you and reminds you of your negatives in such a way that it is like a train wreck that you just can’t take your eyes off of. Rick goes on to say, “Your gremlin is a superb psychic tattoo artist, whispering in your ear hypnotic messages about who you are and how the world works. These hypnotic messages dampen the freshness of your moment to moment experiences.”
I know that no matter how long I live and no matter how much I learn about taming my negative beliefs or re-writing my story, my gremlin will always be with me, trying his hardest to derail me.
The entire experience of Rick’s book came together for me on page 170 in 2-1/3 pages worth of text.
Here is what affected me so much and the 2 words that can combat your gremlin:
“Until now….”
“Once a person is determined to help themselves, there is nothing that can stop them.”
Nelson Mandela
Just like a flower opening to the warmth of the energizing sun the miraculous words of “until now” are so powerful and healing that hope blooms without an invitation. Let’s try it out:
“I have tried to make friends with my money but I am just awful with financial decisions, until now.”
“I want to get my life and my home organized but keep putting it off, until now.”
“I am always leaving projects undone, until now.”
“Until now, my habit to over eat made me feel like a slave to food.”
Plug in your own regret, fear, vulnerability and start or end your thought with “Until Now.” How do you feel when you say those 2 words? What emotional shift do you feel taking place?
“Until Now” offers hope, possibilities, expansion, breath, creativity and power. Yes, perhaps you truly did believe that you were not good at those things that have prevented you from moving forward but you have the freedom to change those beliefs in each moment, in each breath to breath that you take.
No one said it would be easy but anything worth having is worth working hard for. You can count on your gremlin showing up as soon as he detects a psychic change away from negativity. Your gremlin will work overtime to remind you of your shortcomings and your fears but now you have a powerful weapon to use for your defense. The plan is to start to change from the inside out.
“If you get the inside right, the outside will fall into place.” Eckhart Tolle
If you get the inside right the outside will show your inner peace, self-worth, and confidence. Big changes to our mindset begin with small steps toward those changes. Just as easily as you have allowed yourself to store the negative beliefs in your mind you can just as easily store the positive beliefs. For every action against a negative belief, you start to build stronger mind muscles. Until now you didn’t have the tools you needed to start your fight toward a better way of believing and thinking but now you do and your heart will take care of the rest.